Eva Marie Makeup Failure: All Red Nothing

eva marie makeup

I am fucking obsessed with Eva’s eye makeup. Since the show started I’ve been freeze framing, trying to figure out what the fuck it is she’s doing. Eva Marie can start maiming girls in the ring like Sara Lee on muscle relaxants, just keep that bitch around long enough that I can master her perfect Mod cat eye.

And yes, for the record I do realize a large problem with this undertaking is that Eva Marie is Mexican-Italian, tan, and has the features of a ’70s rock star’s girlfriend / sexy alien, and I  have very round, very large, eyes that don’t lend themselves to any feline look. But I don’t see race will try anything to look cute, so I tried my best to modify her style to fit my all consuming whiteness.

Continue reading “Eva Marie Makeup Failure: All Red Nothing”

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Shame

I hate when you’re doing something you’re ashamed of, and the universe decides to make it difficult. So you’re now annoyed, and forced to simmer in your bad decisions.

For three days, every time I tried to watch Total Divas, my DVR refused to play it.

I was trying to watch Total Divas.

For three days.

Do you know how that feels? Do you know the anguish that it brings?