I can now stop talking about Tough Enough unless I’m stupid enough to watch it next year, which I probably am

I watched the finale of Tough Enough, and what would you know, but in the only episode of the series that focused predominately on wrestling, Amanda and Josh came out on top. Of course, as per tradition, the challenges didn’t mean anything, and Sara Lee beat out Amanda, while Pale Roman Reigns/Josh whipped ZZ by a margin so large I have trouble believing it wasn’t manipulated. You’ve got to keep some things consistent, I guess.

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WWE’s Tough Enough, A Guide

Tough Enough has been giving me actual emotions, which I don’t appreciate. First of all, there’s been constant vitriol from the coaches/judges directed at one of the contestant’s, Sara, since week one. I don’t know if it’s a (lazy) calculated attempt to stir up drama, or eventually create some underdog tale, but it has the effect of watching hyenas tear apart a gazelle carcass. I mean week after week they just bludgeon this girl, and it’s not even like she is weak or incompetent, she is just QUIET. Un-reality show contestant-y. Last week was dedicated to berating Sara for smiling. Sara has a nervous habit of smiling, she even says her smiling has nothing to do with her emotional state in her little interview/diary segment. So naturally everyone has been barking at her for not taking the competition seriously / not taking the judges critiques seriously / being incapable of being threatening in the ring… Fine, it’s a reality show, not a training camp. Maybe their real life training techniques and attitudes towards the trainees differ from what is displayed in the show (although several real life lawsuits would suggest they don’t) but they’ve been dragging this argument out for six weeks now. “Sara, stop being nice” “I’m not being nice, I’m just on edge because everyone is constantly screaming and this is my on edge face” “You still look nice.”

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MTV’s Teen Mom OG: I watched it, now you don’t have to

So i watched Teen Mom OG, never got around to writing a response because a) it switched times and i could never figure out when it was on, b) because nothing happened. I’m a woman of limited means and intelligence and interests but most of all I am a woman of LIMITED DVR SPACE and it became immediately clear this was not a DVR worthy program.

They kept hyping how its been 4 years and omg so much has changed and omg we’re not 16 anymore, that was the key statement of the series “it’s like, I’m not sixteen anymore” but literally, they could have all been sixteen, nothing would have changed.

 

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Here are some television things I watched on the internet

I’ve been on a Jack Whitehall binge lately. I found an episode of him guest hosting Nevermind the Buzzcocks that I hadn’t seen yet, and it was faaaabulous. If you happen to hate Razorlight, it’s even better. I didn’t even know Razorlight was still a band. I genuinely do not think I have heard them mentioned since 2006. I didn’t even know they were English. I guess they did the whole failed crossover/retreat to England thing. As a partial Canadian, I am very familiar with this phenomenon and people who are only regionally and shamefully famous. But yeah, Razorlight. I remember Mischa Barton praising them in a mid-2000s issue of Elle Girl or something (for the record I loved Elle Girl.) I am like 90% sure she had on a Beatles shirt and a ballet pink satin bubble skirt on the cover, which is about the most 2006 outfit ever. That feminine/rock n roll counterplay. I am a fan, but I am so glad the distressed concert tees stopped, it got incredibly weird and sad.

I forgot how good Fresh Meat is. I think it takes a lot of restraint to depict teenagers/young adults accurately. It’s so easy to go for the glamorous/philosophical The O.C. route, or make everyone a one-dimensional moronic child who is either screaming or humping everything. Or go Canadian and everyone is overly mature and humble and ethnically diverse (for a disturbingly good Degrassi parody, Kroll Show‘s “Wheels Across Ontario” is the most brutal thing I’ve ever seen.) Fresh Meat always finds the perfect line between that awkward, awkward struggle for independence punctuated by profound moments of personal growth and being a self-absorbed douche child you want to beat the shit out of. The episode where JP struggles with his sexuality after his high school friend comes out (Season 2, Episode 1) is one of my favorite things that I’ve watched in a long, long time.

I also binge watched It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia season 9 which I guess wasn’t too bad since the episodes are like 20 minutes long. The other favorite thing I’ve watched in a long time is the convenience store robbery episode (The Gang Saves The Day, Season 9, Episode 6, which is also their 100th episode). Oh my God, the animated dream sequence Charlie has about he and the waitress’s future? So unexpected. It was delightful. Delightful. I would watch the movie version of that. I know it’s a parody of Up, but I want Charlie’s version. More rats.

So basically England wins, England always wins. Not historically or culturally but in terms of television, yes.

 

NES inspired/8-bit Twin Peaks Intro by The FilthyFrackers