I can now stop talking about Tough Enough unless I’m stupid enough to watch it next year, which I probably am

I watched the finale of Tough Enough, and what would you know, but in the only episode of the series that focused predominately on wrestling, Amanda and Josh came out on top. Of course, as per tradition, the challenges didn’t mean anything, and Sara Lee beat out Amanda, while Pale Roman Reigns/Josh whipped ZZ by a margin so large I have trouble believing it wasn’t manipulated. You’ve got to keep some things consistent, I guess.

Continue reading “I can now stop talking about Tough Enough unless I’m stupid enough to watch it next year, which I probably am”

WWE’s Tough Enough, A Guide

Tough Enough has been giving me actual emotions, which I don’t appreciate. First of all, there’s been constant vitriol from the coaches/judges directed at one of the contestant’s, Sara, since week one. I don’t know if it’s a (lazy) calculated attempt to stir up drama, or eventually create some underdog tale, but it has the effect of watching hyenas tear apart a gazelle carcass. I mean week after week they just bludgeon this girl, and it’s not even like she is weak or incompetent, she is just QUIET. Un-reality show contestant-y. Last week was dedicated to berating Sara for smiling. Sara has a nervous habit of smiling, she even says her smiling has nothing to do with her emotional state in her little interview/diary segment. So naturally everyone has been barking at her for not taking the competition seriously / not taking the judges critiques seriously / being incapable of being threatening in the ring… Fine, it’s a reality show, not a training camp. Maybe their real life training techniques and attitudes towards the trainees differ from what is displayed in the show (although several real life lawsuits would suggest they don’t) but they’ve been dragging this argument out for six weeks now. “Sara, stop being nice” “I’m not being nice, I’m just on edge because everyone is constantly screaming and this is my on edge face” “You still look nice.”

Continue reading “WWE’s Tough Enough, A Guide”

MTV’s Teen Mom OG: I watched it, now you don’t have to

So i watched Teen Mom OG, never got around to writing a response because a) it switched times and i could never figure out when it was on, b) because nothing happened. I’m a woman of limited means and intelligence and interests but most of all I am a woman of LIMITED DVR SPACE and it became immediately clear this was not a DVR worthy program.

They kept hyping how its been 4 years and omg so much has changed and omg we’re not 16 anymore, that was the key statement of the series “it’s like, I’m not sixteen anymore” but literally, they could have all been sixteen, nothing would have changed.


Continue reading “MTV’s Teen Mom OG: I watched it, now you don’t have to”

Teen Mom 2 Recap

Omg, I finally got around to watching the Teen Mom 2 premiere.

Nothing explosive, but I guess they’ve got to set the stage.

Jenelle seemed to have her shit in relative order. I did notice that as she was leaving the house with Nathan to go to the ultrasound technician, that bitch has some sort of guinea pig/rabbit cage by the door. Girl, wtf do you need to be adding a guinea pig into your life for. I realize given all her responsibilities, small mammal care is probably not going to swing things either way, but why bother. ALSO OF COURSE SHE BOUGHT A HUMMER. ALSO WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF HER DOGS? At least two are unaccounted for.

You know who’s dogs aren’t missing? Kailyn‘s. When their Rottweiler stole Isaac’s pizza and he started crying, best/worst moment of the episode. It was just so mundane I thought, ‘oh my God, this is sooo real life.’

Kailyn’s got the most relatable problems I think. I’m a big Javi fan, but when Javi started fighting with Kailyn over having to watch both kids at once, and asked her to take their newborn grocery shopping, as a woman, my blood started to boil. It’s the man/woman childcare as a responsibility/childcare as a privilege double standard.

Back to Jenelle, Nathan is a slow-burning Kieffer. The weird combination of stone-faced (if you’re going to be nice) or delusional (if you’re going to be real) and being oddly perceptive of what is happening around them. It’s a combination patented by Scott Disick. You think they’re over the top douchebags until there is a sudden moment where you consider that they might be the only sane ones.

Nathan had a couple memorable lines tonight. “It’s Anglo-Saxon or German for Emperor” was a solid entry. He had a good double-negative incident where he said something like “I can’t not not see my kids anymore,” which was obviously an accident, but was still funny. The best exchange was Nathan and that badass lawyer, when he asked why he was charged with resisting arrest and she said ‘because you were being an asshole and then you asked to be tased.’

Regardless of where Nathan falls on the genius/stupidity spectrum, I am sure Jace is the smartest one on the entire show. His side-eye game is impeccable, Miss J from ANTM would gladly accept him into Miss J’s school of throwing shade.

Speaking of gays, Chelsea‘s friend Landon OMG. I’m so glad he is return (wow serious grammar error but I like it.) I’m very wary whenever a white girl on TV is friends with a guy that wears makeup, but Chelsea and Landon seem so genuine and he and Aubree are adorable together. Also his hair is fantastic.

Also, Randy. Randy is his own sentence, he needs no explanation. I would seriously love to see Randy write a divorced Dad sitcom based on his life, where he’s all salt-of-the-earth North Dakota-y, then his teenage daughter gets pregnant and becomes a reality star. That has got to seriously impede your parenting plans. So many hijinks.

Who is left, Leah? Leah just makes me sad. She is so isolated. Every time she is featured I just want to tell her to move closer back to her family because Rob Thomas Jeremy isn’t going to understand her anytime soon, nor is her relationship with Cory getting less awkward. I am glad Ali is still the most adorable badass little girl and that THEY FINALLY CAPTIONED ALEEAH/GRACE AS “ALEEAH GRACE” because that was getting so confusing.

Things I want to see: whatever Jenelle does next, more Jace side-eye, more Barbara, Nathan enrolls as a philosophy major at the University of Phoenix, the triumphant return of Kieffer (ugh I wish), more of Randy’s girlfriend (Rita?), Cory pimps Ali’s wheelchair with streamers and NOS and she becomes a toddler street racing champion, an entire episode of Isaac saying whatever he wants, a continuation of Chelsea’s more tasteful makeup looks, a Landon and Aubree tea party, Janelle’s dogs show up at Kailyn’s house