Fake Plastic Trees

Just came back from the Rainforest Café, the site of Alyssa’s/everyone’s birthday extravaganza. Apparently everyone in my family is born in November. Holy fuck I hate the Rainforest Café. I’m shameless in my love of theme restaurants, theme parks, theme parties, anything where you or your waitress has to dress up in the presence of animatronic monkeys, but the Rainforest Café fucking sucks. Why should I (really my uncle) have to pay $13 for some limp dick chicken sandwich that doesn’t come with fries, and for my thirty-something safari gear clad server to fuck up 9 out of 10 orders (Alex is five and had a children’s pizza on a little plastic plate, the only reason she was capable of matching the two, I’m quite sure.) Seriously its no wonder they are (were?) nearly bankrupt. And don’t give me any shit, Rainforest Café, about how price gauging is necessary to upkeep your plastic jungle. That robotic crocodile and all those Michael’s Craft Super Store vines are a one time purchase, and those matching polyester Steve Irwin bermuda shorts and button ups cannot be that expensive.

 

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Set Phasers to Stun

Went to Whitney and made stir fry with Jonathan, Peter and Ruby yesterday.

Whitney’s kitchen is so industrial and stainless steel-y that I was freaked out being  in there. It reminded me of a morgue. They also have giant spiders.

On the plus side, they do have vending machines, which I am mad jealous of. There is something so satisfying for me in hitting a combination of numbers and letters and watching food pop out. I like the instant gratification of it all.

Then we ate pie and watched Christian Television because the only two channels they get are Christian Television and the channel that tells you whats on all the other channels.

Then we walked to Yonge & Dundas and saw Star Trek. The rumors are true, it is mad epic. However J.J. Abrams really needs to master the narrative arc. Just like the past few seasons of Lost I had no idea where the fuck the movie was going. And just like Lost explosions and crazy shit were just enough to keep you watching and make you feel like you weren’t getting enormously screwed over, when you probably are.

I have no idea how to fucking work Word Press and feel like this blog, like all other blogs I have attempted to start, will last 2 months tops.