margotsmokes

Dead Plumbing Dead People Dead Presidents

by margotsmokes

Water heater exploded about 15 minutes before the season premiere of The Walking Dead. I had prepared snacks.

I went downstairs to grab my sheets out of the dryer, when I was greeted with the smell of a fish market.

This would be an immediate tip off for anyone who didn’t live in my house. My sister is fond of preparing seafood for herself inadequately, and even once gave herself food poisoning, puked in a trash can, then left it in my Mom’s room because she “didn’t know what to do with it.”

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Project Runway

by margotsmokes

Ashley Nell Tipton is the new Anya Ayoung-Chee, only instead of shitting the bed then making a jumpsuit at the 11th hour, she makes a crop top and circle skirt.

Anya had the then trendy long hair mohawk mismatched 1980s earring thing going on.

Ashley has the now trendy all mauve everything pastel goth thing going on.

Both made v. cute but completely pedestrian looking and simply made clothes that the judges would usually rip someone a new asshole for, but were treated as the second coming of Christ when they sent their models down the runway.

Bad vibes I’m telling you, bad vibes.

Sorry Edmond, I think Ashley is going to walk away with that sweet, sweet, Sally Beauty/Best Western money.

Eva Marie Makeup Failure: All Red Nothing

by margotsmokes

eva marie makeup

I am fucking obsessed with Eva’s eye makeup. Since the show started I’ve been freeze framing, trying to figure out what the fuck it is she’s doing. Eva Marie can start maiming girls in the ring like Sara Lee on muscle relaxants, just keep that bitch around long enough that I can master her perfect Mod cat eye.

And yes, for the record I do realize a large problem with this undertaking is that Eva Marie is Mexican-Italian, tan, and has the features of a ’70s rock star’s girlfriend / sexy alien, and I  have very round, very large, eyes that don’t lend themselves to any feline look. But I don’t see race will try anything to look cute, so I tried my best to modify her style to fit my all consuming whiteness.

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Neutralboy – Dick to Cry On

by margotsmokes

Dude, I’d been having so much fun with This Is My Jam, but it’s shutting down, so I’m trying to comfort myself with the idea of posting stuff This Is My Jam didn’t have the rights to (which was everything.)

Such as,

NEUTRALBOY’S “DICK TO CRY ON”

I was torn between that and “Boys in Bad Hair” but chose this based on uniqueness of message, which is about rebound sex. Not alot of songs about that.

New Lamp

by margotsmokes

Dude, I ran out of my insomnia medication and now I’m half alive. My body is in that state where I can’t process information because it’s diverting all the energy I have to staying awake.

I know I’ll get a second wind at like 10:30PM and be awake until 4AM.

This is now the third time I will have mentioned this, but I am going to say it again, because it was awesome.

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