Eva Marie Makeup Failure: All Red Nothing

eva marie makeup

I am fucking obsessed with Eva’s eye makeup. Since the show started I’ve been freeze framing, trying to figure out what the fuck it is she’s doing. Eva Marie can start maiming girls in the ring like Sara Lee on muscle relaxants, just keep that bitch around long enough that I can master her perfect Mod cat eye.

And yes, for the record I do realize a large problem with this undertaking is that Eva Marie is Mexican-Italian, tan, and has the features of a ’70s rock star’s girlfriend / sexy alien, and I  have very round, very large, eyes that don’t lend themselves to any feline look. But I don’t see race will try anything to look cute, so I tried my best to modify her style to fit my all consuming whiteness.

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Makeup for pale bitches

Makeup for pale bitches

“Well, there’s no money, Jack. If I can get some cash out of this place, then I can start a new life. Buy a condo in Marina Bay. Open a store for red headed girls to buy cosmetics from someone who understands.” – Nancy Donovan, 30 Rock

So I’m not redheaded, but this quote always stayed with me because I am pale as fuck, and buying foundation has always been a nightmare. I also had truly terrible skin for years and years before going on Accutane, so makeup was not so much a luxury item as a necessity, and the one thing spackling my self-esteem together.

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