Portlandia: “Disappointing Gays”

This isn’t even so much funny as it is adorable and heartwarming. It’s not like I ever considered Josh Homme and Nick Swardson as a couple before, but now that I’ve seen it I just want it to be real life so badly. Just a couple badass dudes bro-ing out playing Xbox and making out at ESPN Zone. They deserve no less than each other.

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Sara Barron on meeting a lesbian couple at a childhood holiday party

The party was an altogether transformative experience, for it led me to the belief that lesbians were but magical confections that brought joy to all the land. They were regal, special, and festive. They were like beautiful unicorns, those lesbians, for you had to search to find them. Oh, yes. You had to dig around. I had gone a full eight years without knowing they were out there, hidden away in luxurious penthouse apartments. But now I knew, and on the car ride home gazed out the window at Lake Shore Drive and all its gorgeous aspirational housing where the lesbians were, where the lives were happy.

I’m going to be one, I thought. I’m going to try.

– Sara Barron, The Harm in Asking, Random House, 2014