Had to get a blood test, and my Maury-loving doctor’s office sent me an order to go back to their office, not a lab, which I’ve never seen before. So I’m instructed to go to “the back” and a receptionist sort of, lethargically gestures in a direction, so I start walking. It gets darker and darker. Windows and the connection to the outside world disappears, and is replaced by a twisting corridor with towering angular shelves of files on either side, ready to tip like a German expressionist film. I do not understand how it was possible to fit this floor plan within the confines of this building, that was endlessly unfolding like House of Leaves. I finally reach one lone metal chair facing a scale and sit down. I’m sitting there silently, in near darkness for a few minutes, when a doctor appears out of nowhere and asks if I’m there for bloodwork. “Yes.” “Oh, then you need to go to the back.”
but we all bleed the same way as you do… and we all have the same things to go through…. HOLD ON if you feel like letting go…. HOLD ON it gets better than you know. <— lyrics fromm good charlotte’s hold on. thats such an awesome song. everyone should download it. so anyways. yesterday i tried to get onto my blog and it said that portland had a terminal server crash. and i was like crying because i thought i had lost all my archives. it came back at around 8:33 and i started crying of happiness. i dont know what i would do if i lost these archives. these are my MEMORIES. my only true feelings. i dont capitatlize, i dont check for spelling, this is just whatever is on my mind. like a cheap therapist. i dont know what i would do without you my dear blog. i need a new blog layout though… i had one featuring mt. deryck whibley. guitarist, vocalist, lyricist, and hot rockstar god extrodinaire. but i think i want something darker… yes i know. the holidays. but it seems that alot of shit has been happening to friends of mine, and i want something with a message. hence the lyrics posted at the top of this post… well i’ll have to think up some ideas… and find some pics… peace out!
Not that I applied a thousand years ago, that went fairly fast, but I’ve lived here since I was eleven (minus college) so everyone I know from Canada thought I was American and everyone I knew from America mostly didn’t know I was Canadian. I’ve felt like both forever, and time-wise my life has been spent almost exactly 50-50 between the two, so it wasn’t so much like gaining something so much as it was… feeling acknowledged? I know that doesn’t fit the patriotic rhetoric, but if someone talks shit about America I will feel compelled to talk shit about them and if someone talks shit about Canada I will feel compelled to talk shit about them and that I think, is the true test of citizenship.
Dude, so first of all, I got a motherfucking flu shot and my arm hurt for two days. Like a charlie horse running from my shoulder to my wrist, and all the bones in the wrist and the back of my hand felt like I beat them against a wall. I rested. I elevated. I tried doing push ups and swinging my arm around. The only advice on Mayo Clinic genunely amounted to “stop being a pussy.” I couldn’t sleep allllll night. What IS that? I got the flu shot last year and it definitely ached, but I wasn’t in uncontrollable pain that acetaminophin couldn’t touch.