UPS still sucks/What can’t brown do for you

I was working my way through r/whatisthisthing when I came across this post suggesting the poster had received a $400,000 weather drone in lieu of a weightlifting bench. I assumed it was a hoax, because $400,000 piece of government technology abandoned by UPS until I got to this part of the exchange:

EDIT 2: The UPS guy on the phone had said that this had been in storage, and was something that had been lost in transit, or in some other way went undelivered. He kept saying that it was mine, and something that was intended to be delivered to me, but didn’t make it originally.

With … I knew it was real, because UPS won’t stop doing the same shit to me. We have an elderly neighbor that frequently orders from Plow & Hearth type sites that sell zip up MuuMuus and leaf camo quilted toilet paper covers and they will not stop sending us her bad choices no matter how many times we call.

I swear, this is not for comedic purposes, this is literally what happens if you call UPS customer service

US: Hello, we’ve received a package that doesn’t belong to us
UPS: What is the tracking number
US: [tracking number]
UPS: It says that package was delivered
US: It was delivered, it was delivered to the wrong house
UPS: What is your address
US: [address]
UPS: It says right here the package was delivered to that at [time]
US: Right, but we didn’t order the package, we are [A ADDRESS] the package was for [B ADDRESS]
UPS: Well you’ll have to speak to the business if they sent you something in error
US: I don’t know that it was in error, but it was ordered by [B ADDRESS] not [A ADDRESS]
UPS: So you haven’t received the package
UPS: If you were sent the wrong item, you have to speak with the company that your order
UPS: According to the tracking number, the package was delivered to [A ADDRESS] at [time]

Every time you call them they give you the run around. It’s not stupidity, or miscommunication, they will calmly talk in circles until you give up. The few times we outlasted them and got them to semi-admit the package was at the wrong address, they told us to leave the package outside and they’d come by and pick it up the next business day, but they have not once picked up a package in the several times this has happened.

And not only was it happening to me, it was happening with Puma AE Unmanned Aircraft Systems. UPS lost a $350k drone, was happy to assure this college student he was the recepient of a $350k drone, and then NOAA refused to acknowledge they lost a $350k drone, even if it meant they could get said drone back and recoup $350k.

The only reason the drone was able to be returned was because VICE covered the story and the original poster contacted them to arrange a contact with NOAA.

Bureaucracy at work, man. Each cog in the machine sloughing off responsibility onto another cog until I am left with a pile of deer antlers and polyester-viscose blend on my stoop as people try to convince me the address pf my human form, my living MuuMuu hanger if you will, is not where I am. Maybe it’s a spiritual thing. Maybe UPS is really trying to awaken us to our place the ever unfurling universal fabric, a place that is at once nowhere and everywhere. A place where all packages are undeliverable.