blogger

Nothing to say really

by

Shittiest blog post ever. I went to the gym today and now everything hurts. I did a solid 30 minutes on the stair stepper mostly at the top of my cardio zone which is like, 168, and then tried to push it to the aerobic zone or whatever the f the other zone is at … Read more

The laziest stake-out of all time

by

So a few weeks ago, I went to my music lesson, walked around for a bit and caught Pokemon, got some Nando’s, went home to watch Big Brother, my usual Summer routine. When I got back home, it started pissing rain. I mean an absolute downpour, a muggy-ass August-in-Maryland thunderstorm. As is custom, there is a … Read more

Other things I did in the month of July

by

Watched 5 full seasons of Shameless

  • This is not entirely my fault. We got Showtime as part of a one month free trial, which is how I got roughly four and a half seasons deep. A portion of the trial ticked by while we were in Ottawa, otherwise I am certain one month of free cable would have sufficed. But once you’re over two thirds of the way through the series, might as well go all the way. So I employed the one month Roku free trial and will be six seasons strong in a couple days.
  • I am in love with Lip, not currently, but at least initially. Rebellious genius with a dry sense of humor who dresses alternately like a teddy boy and a young yacht owner? Yes please. Every character has sucked since season three, but I’m no quitter.

Read more

Ottawa/Canada Day 2016: The Muskrat’s Lack of Revenge

by

First of all, this should be an aside, but I want to write my blog post chronologically not in terms of importance, so this is going at the beginning: I am fucking in love with Porter Airlines. I’ve heard people talk about them the way they talk about SoulCycle and Wegman’s and other cult-y shit, and if we’re going to be honest, my response was always “you whores,” so easily bought for a pack of free cookies and aiport WiFi. But the hype is real. They fucked up our checked carry ons every single leg of our trip, but I don’t even care. Those snacks are incredible. Their flight attendants are the nicest and they have the best outfits. I would purchase one of their tiny, glass, Porter Airline branded cups for use in my real life. I would attempt to live in the aiport lounge of Billy Bishop if it weren’t for the fact seeing the CN Tower and the TD building and the Sky Dome and the roundhouse for those few fleeting moments made me feel like I was getting hit in the stomach with a bag of rocks and I actually thought I was going to cry. Thank God the safe windowless Porter Airlines lounge with it’s endless free coffee was there to comfort me.

Anyways,

Read more

U.S. Citizenship + Babies + McDonald’s

by

I GOT MY U.S. CITIZENSHIP after a thousand years.

Not that I applied a thousand years ago, that went fairly fast, but I’ve lived here since I was eleven (minus college) so everyone I know from Canada thought I was American and everyone I knew from America mostly didn’t know I was Canadian. I’ve felt like both forever, and time-wise my life has been spent almost exactly 50-50 between the two, so it wasn’t so much like gaining something so much as it was… feeling acknowledged? I know that doesn’t fit the patriotic rhetoric, but if someone talks shit about America I will feel compelled to talk shit about them and if someone talks shit about Canada I will feel compelled to talk shit about them and that I think, is the true test of citizenship.

Read more

%d bloggers like this: