“The only way to fix soccer is to pick the ball up and throw it down the field.”

I guess D.C. is in the running to be one of the FIFA World Cup host cities for 2026? I wonder how much of an actual possibility that is vs. stadium owners trying to meme it into existence. A quick Google search would answer that question, but I don’t really care. It turns out 82% of people polled by Fox 5 don’t either.

Does the bible mention anything on coveting thy neighbor’s dog

I can overlook a lot of flaws when your lightsaber doubles as a racing wheel for Mario Kart

I am a savant. Even under 5 pounds of Kryolan I recognized Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Grand Inceptor as Peter Quinn from Homeland. Of course I did, you can see those cheekbones from space. Or from earth, because they’re in space.

My only problem now is that Star Wars villain voice is mowing down my boner faster than Anakin Skywalker through a nursery of youngling. I know what you’re thinking, the voice is the problem? That would imply acceptance of the white Kabuki-Cat Man Dennis Avner-meets Beats by Dre™ CES concept look. To which I would say, one, even if he is a total bastard he is still a Jedi, and two, if God felt it prudent to bless you with that delicate-yet-undeniably-masculine facial structure, you deserve to rule by divine right.

Barry

I was doing Long Day’s Journey into Night at the Pasadena Playhouse with a bunch of coke heads. It’s usually about a three-hour play. We could bring it in at just under thirty-seven minutes. We thought we were great! Apparently, we were unintelligible.

Gene Cousineau