Beth: Hungry?

Tate: Kind of

Beth: What do you want?

Tate: What can you make?

Beth: Cheese plate.


I was doing Long Day’s Journey into Night at the Pasadena Playhouse with a bunch of coke heads. It’s usually about a three-hour play. We could bring it in at just under thirty-seven minutes. We thought we were great! Apparently, we were unintelligible.

Gene Cousineau

On Becoming a God in Southern Florida

I have been coming to this park nearly every day for the past 38 years. I have seen heart attacks, marriage proposals, projectile vomit, desegregation. But never, I mean never, have I seen birds drop out of the sky.


Chuck Sr

“Connecticut Hall. I fucked three girls in there once in a 24-hour period. One in the can!” – Chuck Sr.

You screwed a girl in a dorm bathroom? – Chuck Rhoades

“No, sonny.”- Chuck Sr.

Northern Virginia Chainsaw Massacre

“Dad why do you have a chainsaw?”

“After I finished my final alimony deposit I wanted to treat myself.”