Instagram Makeup Roundup

 

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Half Makeup Post: NYX Lingerie Liquid Lipstick in Lace Detail

 

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Chaotic neutral: my favorite unexpected neutral nail colors

chaotic neutral: my favorite unexpected neutral nail colors

 

 

I love nail polish. I own an obscenely large amount of it. I feel incomplete without it. But I hate physically painting my nails. After years I’m still terribly uncoordinated, shocked by the time it takes to dry, and managing to accidentally sit on my own hand and leaving denim imprints all over my own work. So I like to go with a color I can get some mileage out of, and maximize the time before I have to repeat the process. So these are my favorite nail polishes that are kind of unusual but still manage to match a lot of outfits, without being pink, beige, or black.

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The Skin Care Post I Accidentally Made Too Long Because of My Sheer Passion

my favorite products for acne-prone and sensitive skin.

skincare

When left to it’s own devices, my skin falls somewhere between unfortunate and never-leave-the-house-again. After dutifully going to the dermatologist every three months since I was sixteen, my doctor and I had an explosive breakup when I told her to go fuck herself and then cried as she stormed out of the room. After that I took the Trust No Bitch approach to medical decision-making, and started making exhaustive lists of every medication and product I’d ever taken, taking note of classification and mechanism of action and common side effects. I don’t advocate the belief in the internet as a form of medical training, but if you get the sense your concerns are being ignored, or that just maybe that bitch is even dumber than you are, find a reputable source of information with nothing to sell (like the Mayo Clinic) and advocate for yourself.

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Eva Marie Makeup Failure: All Red Nothing

eva marie makeup

I am fucking obsessed with Eva’s eye makeup. Since the show started I’ve been freeze framing, trying to figure out what the fuck it is she’s doing. Eva Marie can start maiming girls in the ring like Sara Lee on muscle relaxants, just keep that bitch around long enough that I can master her perfect Mod cat eye.

And yes, for the record I do realize a large problem with this undertaking is that Eva Marie is Mexican-Italian, tan, and has the features of a ’70s rock star’s girlfriend / sexy alien, and I  have very round, very large, eyes that don’t lend themselves to any feline look. But I don’t see race will try anything to look cute, so I tried my best to modify her style to fit my all consuming whiteness.

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