It’s Morbin’ time

I just watched Morbius. I liked it. It doesn’t justify what it is. I feel like the timeline with comic book movies went nerd shit -> brief sweet spot -> “capeshit.” Everything besides the new Spider-Man movies wants to tell you why it’s culturally relevant and deserving of your attention. It always comes off as simultaneously desperate and condescending.

Morbius is just like, I’m a man who spliced bat DNA into his own and now I’m half man half bat. It’s clear the writers’ entire concept of bats stems from Bat Man because Dr. Morbius has superhuman strength yet bats lack the mass or muscle power to stand upright.

Honestly, I find Jared Leto distractingly attractive. To the point where I spent a good part of the film wondering how Jared Leto feels about being Jared Leto. He’s playing these repulsive, vulnerable characters and all I can consider is the perfect upturn of his nose. How much does that suck when your very purpose is to disappear into roles but you can’t connect fully because you’re just too hot.

Matt Smith dancing is hot and weird he reminds me of a landed gentry Buffalo Bill.

The lady doctor character of Martine Bancroft was a bit weak, and not just because I spent most of the movie thinking Adria Arjoa was Ruby Modine. I’m all for ladies in power and I’m all for hot ladies in power because just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you can’t look great. I get it, I’m sold. But hot lady doctor calling it the “noble prize” straight out the gate does not inspire confidence. You couldn’t have given her a montage? Her as a kid at a science fair her winning awards for research blah blah. Some background or credibility.

My only complaint is there was not enough Jared Harris. There is never enough Jared Harris and there certainly was not enough in this film.

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