Nail through the hand

My Mom was trying to unwedge my sister’s phone from between the couch cushions and got impaled by a loose nail. The cushions are so tightly pressed together she didn’t have enough space to back her hand off the nail, and the nail was in too deep to sacrifice some surface skin and just yank her hand out, so she yelled for my sister to grab something like a can they could pry the cushions apart with. My sister came back with a silicone spatula.

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Moose

So on Tuesday we voted then I went to my music lesson and my Mom was driving us to McDonalds so we could pick up food before we went home, andΒ  it was really, really, foggy out so she starts making fun of my grandfather, how he would not be pleased with her driving in this weather, “but dad, it’s only a quarter of a mile” “THAT’S ALL IT TAKES FOR A MOOSE” so we’re laughing and I point out there are no moose here, only deer, which couldn’t do the same damage to a car, and right then a FUCKING DEER RUNS INTO THE ROAD, not close enough we had to slam on the breaks, but directly in front of our car, and it walks away, and we’re just like, holy shit, instant karma, instant karma for making fun of Poppy and the moose. Lived here for 15 years, no one’s ever seen a deer there, but a deer there was. So I’m sorry Poppy. That was the craziest shit I’ve ever seen and we drove home looking out for deer that 99% of the time are not there.