I’m really proud of myself, because they left the security sensor on a $20 tote bag I bought at TJ Maxx, and instead of driving back to the store and having them remove it, I just cut that fucker off.

I wrapped the potentially dye filled part in a Ziploc then cut the chain with a pair of 3M plastic packaging cutting scissors I got at Michael’s in preparation for Christmas a couple years ago.

Best investment ever. Those shears will cut anything.

But I’m all high on myself because I’m not much for rule breaking, but in my deteriorated mental state I was all, not today TJ Maxx, and I got shit done and nothing blew up on me.

And I got to take my tote bag into D.C. because my Uncle is here for some trade show.

My Mom’s friend’s own stress response has become ordering things from Williams & Sonoma off her iPad while hiding in her bed, and in a near-literal turning-life’s-lemons-into-lemonade scenario, she bought this amazing Yuzu-Meyer Lemon Cocktail Mix that is one half of the classiest whiskey sour I’ve ever had.

I still can’t get my files off my memory card. At this point, it has nothing to do with the files themselves and everything to do with me needing to dominate my phone.