Bloodletting at the Office Park Labyrinth / The Vitamin D Deficient Maze Runner

Finally it is my turn. Magic Mike ties my arm off and hands me a stress relieving star fish to hold, which is nice. “ARE YOU GOING TO BE OKAY?!” Needles are one of the few things I am not afraid of, but every time I’ve had blood drawn a medical professional looks me in the eye and comes to the conclusion I am about to freak the fuck out.

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Had to get a blood test, and my Maury-loving doctor’s office sent me an order to go back to their office, not a lab, which I’ve never seen before. So I’m instructed to go to “the back” and a receptionist sort of, lethargically gestures in a direction, so I start walking. It gets darker and darker. Windows and the connection to the outside world disappears, and is replaced by a twisting corridor with towering angular shelves of files on either side, ready to tip like a German expressionist film. I do not understand how it was possible to fit this floor plan within the confines of this building, that was endlessly unfolding like House of Leaves. I finally reach one lone metal chair facing a scale and sit down. I’m sitting there silently, in near darkness for a few minutes, when a doctor appears out of nowhere and asks if I’m there for bloodwork. “Yes.” “Oh, then you need to go to the back.”

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