Eva Marie Makeup Failure: All Red Nothing

eva marie makeup

I am fucking obsessed with Eva’s eye makeup. Since the show started I’ve been freeze framing, trying to figure out what the fuck it is she’s doing. Eva Marie can start maiming girls in the ring like Sara Lee on muscle relaxants, just keep that bitch around long enough that I can master her perfect Mod cat eye.

And yes, for the record I do realize a large problem with this undertaking is that Eva Marie is Mexican-Italian, tan, and has the features of a ’70s rock star’s girlfriend / sexy alien, and I  have very round, very large, eyes that don’t lend themselves to any feline look. But I don’t see race will try anything to look cute, so I tried my best to modify her style to fit my all consuming whiteness.

It did not work.

Close to at all. It worked a little better than it came out in pictures. Damn my Caucasian eyes. I mean really, the problem I have with any tricky eyeliner is that I need to be viewed in three dimensions. My eyes are so bulbous you can’t really see both sides of my eye socket at once, unless I exaggerate my eyeliner like Elvira. But hey, I didn’t realize until after I looked at the pictures that the tank top I was wearing and the odd angle I was holding my cell phone to try to incorporate both left and right eye socket produced a fuck-ton of cleavage, so things worked out okay.


  • Smashbox Oil Free Primer
  • Too Faced Shadow Insurance
  • Hard Candy Glamoflage Foundation in Porcelain
  • Nars Laguna Bronzer
  • MAC Strobe Liquid
  • Stila Stay All Day Brow Color in Medium
  • Urban Decay Eyeshadow in Virgin (Naked Palette)
  • Urban Decay Eyeshadow in Buck (Naked Palette)
  • NYX Liquid Eyeliner
  • Buxom Buxom Lash Mascara
  • MAC Lipstick in Ruby Woo
  • Rimmel Kohl Eyeliner in White


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