Chipotle is minor league, if HRC wants to stand a chance, she has to win America.

  1. Use a Starbucks bathroom without the baristas noticing you haven’t bought anything
  2. Be ejected for drunken heckling at a children’s sporting event
  3. Persecute someone
  4. Use a water cup for soda, avoid arrest
  5. Defend a questionable action or opinion with “I thought this was America.”
  6. Obtain BMI >30
  7. Costco run.
  8. Visit a 24 hour supermarket in pajama pants
  9. Torrent Game of Thrones
  10. Call Comcast customer service
  11. Run over pedestrian in John Deere
  12. Don’t vote