Brett Davis’ Amazing OK Cupid Parodies


OkCupid User: CoolGuyRay
36 / M / Straight / Single
Bessemer, Alabama

My self-summary
Undeniably unmanufactured. Undeniably unique. Undeniably Ray.

What I’m doing with my life
I’m a member of some clubs during the day, and I hit the white jazz clubs when the sun goes down. I’m more real than you can imagine and my secret militia marches to the beat of it’s own drum and it’s at a 4/4 time measure, baby.

I’m really good at
Kissing. You can just ask my saxophone.

The first things people usually notice about me
I’m yelling at black people.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Howl, Mein Kampf, Catcher in the Rye, Conquest of a Continent, Dharma Bums, The Führer’s Courage, Founding Myths of Modern Israel, Bukowski, Burroughs, Himmler

Birth of a Nation (classic cool), not really into current films…the SQUARES run Hollywood.

Bill Evans, Jerry Mulligan, Art Pepper, Scott La Faro, Chet Baker, Jack Teagarden, Steve Lacy, Evan Parker, Bix Biederbecke, Dave Brubeck, George Shearing, Shelly Manne, Lennie Tristano

White soul food

The six things I could never do without
Eva Braun (my sax)
Unique tattoos
My morning coffee
Hereditary superiority (but I’m not in your face about it)

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Phonies. You know what I’m talking about.

On a typical Friday night I am
My jazz three-piece RESISTANT plays every Friday night at Tonic. You should come and watch us, you’ll flip your lid.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I’m looking for
Girls who like guys
Ages 25–50
Located anywhere
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

You should message me if
You dig jazz and black people just ain’t your bag, daddy-o.

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