In honour of my Father’s Day, I will share one the most notable and/or retarded things I have found out about my family thus far.

My Dad had an Uncle Jack who was a lineman and a raging alcoholic. His crew would travel with two trucks, one outfitted with a cherry picker and filled with thousands and thousands of dollars of expensive power line maintenance equipment, and the other packed to the gills with beer. They once flipped the cherry picker driving drunk and it caught fire. Uncle Jack just cracked a beer and looked on. His coworkers thought it was a more well-intentioned move than it was, and start dumping the beer on the fire in an attempt to put it out. Uncle Jack just says “that’s the last beer you waste on her, let her burn.”

According to my Dad, anyone in a maintenance truck is constantly shithoused.